Tasty Tenerife Tales

Tasty Tenerife Tales

We had all hoped, friends, that the dark days were behind us, at least until the increasingly inevitable zombie apocalypse strikes our beleaguered spinning sphere. Alas, it would appear that troubled times have visited us again on Planet Liverpool. Three years after parting company with the beloved but problematic flesh nibbler that was Luis Suárez, it emerges that the chilling spectre of cannibalism may be looming once more, this time in the overtly affable form of another smiling mentalist - …
A Liverpool Schooling

A Liverpool Schooling

No writing on Liverpool Football Club today should begin without a tribute to the club legend that was Ronnie Moran, who passed away peacefully this morning. As part of Liverpool's coaching staff in the truly glorious days of the club, Moran won 11 league titles, 4 European Cups, 4 FA Cups, 5 League Cups, 2 UEFA Cups and a Super Cup, to add to the 2 Division 1 titles, a Division 2 title and an FA Cup he also won …
No Communication Breakdown At Anfield

No Communication Breakdown At Anfield

Late to the party, as ever, it was only last night that this columnist had the joy of seeing Denis Villeneuve's Arrival. Obviously, the beauty of the cinematography and profundity of the film's themes were the things that continued to resonate on this morning's drive to work, but yesterday, as I watched Amy Adams' linguist try to decipher the complex language and symbology of the visiting heptapods, I was struck by how disappointing it is to see former interpreter, Jose Mourinho, still …
With Klopp, Guardiola And Mourinho, Who Needs Footballers?

With Klopp, Guardiola And Mourinho, Who Needs Footballers?

Predictably, there's been quite the response to Liverpool's away point at the Etihad on Sunday evening. As ever, one needed to be circumspect in one's choice of outlet for news/opinion, as so much of what is uttered about the Redmen can be discounted as either one-eyed agenda-driven guff or bland anodyne piffle. Equally predictably, this column will eschew the divisive in-house stuff and try to mine some rare delight from the weekend's proceedings, even if it must be by way …
Mané Happy Returns - Sadio Finally Playing For Klopp

Mané Happy Returns - Sadio Finally Playing For Klopp

Did you know that Phil Coutinho has a new tattoo of Mickey Mouse on his abs? Or were you aware that Le Bron James, nominal celebrity Red, is very disgruntled at going bald and has almost EIGHT times my country's population following him on Twitter? How about the fact that Ben Woodburn has been called up to the Wales senior squad at 17 years of age?  Maybe you've seen, amidst the talk of a celebratory crest to mark the club's 125th birthday, …
More Birthday Blues For The Reds?

More Birthday Blues For The Reds?

Birthdays can be a real source of emotional volatility as one gets older. On the face of it, it's a great blessing to have lasted another year in a world moving at such a distressing pace, in a direction which no longer seems certain, but on the other hand, one is afflicted with terrible and crushing angst about just where one fits in, nowadays. Why is everyone dabbing, for example? What even IS dabbing? Is anyone else cold? Having reached …
Money Talks For Liverpool FC

Money Talks For Liverpool FC

One evening when my classmates and I were out on the school playing field having a Rounders tournament, our collective attention was grabbed by the sound of approaching helicopter rotors. Now, I should probably mention that the school was a small rural one and the pupils were 80s Irish country kids, so as the whirlybird proceeded to land in the field right next to us, it would be fair to say it caused quite the furore. As it turned out, …
Inconsistency Of Emre Can Mirrors Inconsistency Of Liverpool

Inconsistency Of Emre Can Mirrors Inconsistency Of Liverpool

Irritation was the name of the game yesterday at Latest News Towers. Irritation with life's vicissitudes (which is not the fodder for these paragraphs), irritation with the media, irritation with the Redmen and, finally, seeing that irritation gloriously manifested in the exasperated form of Jamie Carragher (himself a regular source of irritation to this columnist, of late) as he reacted with remarkable impatience to the interruption of his analysis by the permanently gibbering Sky-candy that is Jamie Redknapp. Amidst the post-match …
Wijnaldum Bites Back But Reds Need To Be Quiet

Wijnaldum Bites Back But Reds Need To Be Quiet

Sometimes things just pan out, don't they? This morning, as Latest News queued for coffee, the friendly gent who runs the shop offered complimentary ciabatta to your correspondent. A glorious breakfast ensued. Later, whilst scanning the news on Planet Liverpool and quite literally ruminating, there came another moment of serendipity. Following this column's recent lamentations about Redmen saying things that are probably best left unsaid until the season's over and a genuine goal has been achieved, BEHOLD - a Redman …
Dancing Lessons for Mané

Dancing Lessons for Mané

Today's is going to be one of those Latest News columns that relies heavily on the words of others, not out of authorial laziness, you understand, but because they are there to be quoted and they are saying interesting things. Well, I say 'interesting,' but I'm not so much talking about the content. What's interesting to this scribbler is the fact that they are STILL saying the things that they are saying. Now, it's been pointed out to me already …
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