Unnecessary Drama In The Liverpool Country

Unnecessary Drama In The Liverpool Country

I'll be honest with you, lovely reader. The majority of my 7-day enforced sabbatical was spent being deliberately oblivious to the football world and almost exclusively devoted to the pursuit of solving the problem of a troublesome brainpan. The latter endeavour, sadly, was wholly unsuccessful, but at least I managed to entirely avoid the unending drama of the Liverpool Country (© Mamadou Sakho) for long enough to be genuinely enthused by my return to AI Towers today, even in the knowledge that …
Can Klopp Find The Right Folks To Win Trophies?

Can Klopp Find The Right Folks To Win Trophies?

Bitter experience brings us all, inevitably, to the same conclusion - for the most part, people are awful. Now, optimistic philanthropist that you are, lovely reader, you may be bristling at such apparent negativity, but that is only because you are one of the good ones. You simply cannot conceive of the ugliness that resides in the souls of so many. Or perhaps you have been blessed by the veritable lottery win that is a life of generally positive interactions …
Klopp vs Mourinho: Different Ways To Win

Klopp vs Mourinho: Different Ways To Win

Where do you stand on crest-pointing and badge-kissing? I only ask because of the mixture of amusement and irritation I felt watching Jose Mourinho leave the Old Trafford pitch yesterday. The professionally sullen gilet-fancier was pulling one of those teenage girl Instagram-selfie faces, whilst pointing, very exactly, with his right index finger, to the AON logo beneath the Manchester United badge. It was, at best, an unintentionally hilarious comment on the rampant commercialisation of the modern game and at worst …
Can The Liverpool Defence Be Perfect For Five Weeks?

Can The Liverpool Defence Be Perfect For Five Weeks?

Most of this week was spent waiting on some very significant news. It's a peculiar form of existence, waiting. Obviously, one has to press on with the mundanity of daily existence but always with an awareness that if that news is unfavourable, then the time doing those routine things would have been infinitely better spent running up a spectacular bar tab in Tijuana and going out in style. When it eventually came, the news was bad, but not book the …
Mignolet And Milner Staying Positive

Mignolet And Milner Staying Positive

I've been thinking about building a shelter. You know, a proper, dug out of the ground, own generator, multi-roomed, stocked-to-the-hilt-with-provisions-for-the-zombie-apocalypse type of shelter. Like that one in The Road that Viggo Mortensen and his kid have a few days of brief respite in, before reengaging with cannibalistic crazies and a decaying post-apocalyptic world. The notion's been knocking around in my head for a while but every time I watch the filtered and edited guff that passes for news on television, …
Carragher, Neville And The Cult Of The Pundit

Carragher, Neville And The Cult Of The Pundit

Regular visitors to these paragraphs will know that profound analytical breakdowns of systems and tactics are anathema to this columnist. It's not that I don't appreciate the folk who do that sort of thing, you understand. They provide us all with a valuable service, bless 'em. How many times have you drunkenly thrown out a stat or tactical observation that had been painstakingly compiled by one such hard-working analyst - their slaving over a hot laptop serving only to earn …
Wary Klopp Remains Defiant

Wary Klopp Remains Defiant

When writhing through the thick fug of a migraine, it can be hard to tell with absolute certainty what is real and what one might be imagining. On Friday, complications arising from some scheduled prodding and poking under the bonnet of your columnist's noggin, resulted in 3 days of pain-induced confusion and reality-bending altered perception. It was basically unintentional MK Ultra. There was an incident involving an orange that appeared to be vibrating on a bedside locker and several episodes …
The Mercury Is Rising At Anfield

The Mercury Is Rising At Anfield

Trusting your mental well-being to others is a precarious activity at the best of times. Placing your happiness in the hands, or error-prone feet, of a group of talented but notoriously flaky professional footballers, is surely a sign that you are, on some level, quite mad - as mad as a hatter, even. For another writing project, I had been researching the origin of that expression and it turns out that it relates to the mercury poisoning suffered by milliners …
Origi Can Lift The Mané Gloom

Origi Can Lift The Mané Gloom

This morning I began listening to what seems to be a hugely promising podcast series called S-Town. The character around whom the opening show circles, John B McLemore, is a bit of a misfit in his community, a man whose verbal eloquence and mental dexterity contrast pleasingly with his redneck accent. At one point, noting how critical his interviewee is about his place of birth - the Shit Town of the title - the host refers to John's "virtuosic negativity." …
Liverpool Fans Angry Over Sakho And Injuries

Liverpool Fans Angry Over Sakho And Injuries

Occasionally, this columnist will sigh in exasperation at the petty squabbling that seems to be so prevalent amongst the diverse collective known as Liverpool supporters. It's normally testy difference-of-opinion stuff but sometimes it can be ugly, bile-laden posturing, revealing the ignorance and unpleasantness of the individuals in question. Mute buttons were made for these people. Yet, for all one may cringe at such Twitter and Facebook keyboard hardmen, offering each other out for scraps that they know will never happen, at …
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