Will Salah Join The Improving Reds?

Will Salah Join The Improving Reds?

Watching the latest, entirely hapless, efforts of Theresa May to seem like a normal human person by attempting to participate in that most regrettable of group activities, a Mexican wave, your columnist was struck by how apt a metaphor it was for the ineptitude shown by Liverpool FC in their transfer strategy so far this summer. Like the embattled Tory leader, they took an ill-advised chance, went heedlessly out on a limb, and ended up entirely humiliated in front of …
Can Klopp Bring LFC Back To The Future?

Can Klopp Bring LFC Back To The Future?

As an English literature teacher, it can be a challenge to keep creating engaging writing tasks to present my students with. I've been doing the job for two decades, you see, but I try to be original in as many aspects of my life as possible and so the natural inclination is to eschew clichéd ideas and predictable decisions. This is basically why none of the young men who've graced my classroom over those years have ever been asked to …
Should Milner Be Left Back On The Bench?

Should Milner Be Left Back On The Bench?

Hey, you! Yes, you - the person refreshing their Twitter feed incessantly with a daft grin plastered all over their face. Now, I realise you're all excited by the apparently imminent arrival of Virgil Van Dijk and Mohamed Salah, but weren't you the one that was having a good old moan a couple of days ago about the club's lack of ambition? Didn't you compose a string of strongly worded Facebook posts about how Liverpool's unwillingness to spend a fortune …
Klopp And Lijnders Plotting Success

Klopp And Lijnders Plotting Success

There's a lot of talk about spectrums these days. Sexuality, politics, autism - nearly everything, it seems, is subject to a scale or gradation. I have discovered recently, for example, that I am annoyingly close to the unpleasant end of the spectrum determining the severity of damage to one's brain as a result of migraines. Ah, you say, THAT explains so much about the column over the year, and you'd be right. It seems only natural, then, to think of ourselves …
Just How Attractive Is Jürgen Klopp?

Just How Attractive Is Jürgen Klopp?

It's been an odd couple of days for those of us obsessed with the state of affairs at Liverpool Football Club. For one cohort, the aftermath of Manchester United's Europa League victory was the perfect opportunity for the kind of moaning and masochistic self-flagellation that seems to be de rigeur amongst them. They truly seem to hate themselves and the rest of the world, this lot. It was all over now, you see. The Mancs would beat us to all the …
How To Survive The Liverpool FC Transfer Season

How To Survive The Liverpool FC Transfer Season

Jürgen Klopp Looking To Get Business Done Early screamed one newspaper headline. Klopp Strikes Pessimistic Note On Early Signings, squawked another. Welcome, officially, to Silly Season at it's most histrionic, idiotic and clueless. Between now and the close of the summer transfer window, you will be exposed to such a barrage of contradictory, attention-seeking lunacy, that you would be wise to have a plan for the retention of your mental health - something into which you can completely invest yourself …
Believe, Doubters - Klopp Is Driving LFC Onwards

Believe, Doubters - Klopp Is Driving LFC Onwards

At Anfield yesterday, after a creditable objective had been achieved by Liverpool, as cute children in replica kits tottered wide-eyed after their fathers, and as an intoxicating relief had flooded the famous old stadium, Lucas Leiva said some words into a microphone, whilst clutching a small memorial in the shape of the number 21 he has worn for a decade. The famously amiable Brazilian was struggling to master his emotions. His wife had long-since given up the fight, sobbing as …
All Or Nothing For Klopp And The Reds

All Or Nothing For Klopp And The Reds

"A war of attrition, competition, competition, competition," he said. "This means a fight for everything week in, week out," he elaborated, but it turned out that Jürgen Klopp was not describing the ferocious rivalry between the members of the Liverpool squad to get cast in the latest Nivea television ad, a B-Movie fever dream which features Nathaniel Clyne lasciviously soaping himself and James Milner being crushed under the foot of some sort of monster. I'm not even joking, click the link. …
Magic Coutinho Impresses Origi

Magic Coutinho Impresses Origi

As I sit down to write this, there are actual people of intelligence preparing to watch David Moyes' Sunderland take on Arsenal in the hope that the Mackems will eke out some kind of result. This is the kind of entirely avoidable madness that leads to dark bouts of depression. To compound the lunacy, the same people will probably have one eye on Everton's attempts against the Gunners on the final day. If anything, expecting an Evertonian gift is the …
Progress At Liverpool FC Regardless Of Final Fixture

Progress At Liverpool FC Regardless Of Final Fixture

Let's get something absolutely clear from the off, friends - whether Liverpool beat Middlesborough and secure a Champions League play-off or not, there has been obvious, demonstrable progress under Jürgen Klopp this season. This really shouldn't need saying, but the fickle and pugnacious nature of many of our fans makes it important to nail your colours to the mast on any areas of potential conflict. Heaven forbid that one might not be comically extreme on every position. It seems to be de rigeur …
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