Hey, you! Yes, you - the person refreshing their Twitter feed incessantly with a daft grin plastered all over their face. Now, I realise you're all excited by the apparently imminent arrival of Virgil Van Dijk and Mohamed Salah, but weren't you the one that was having a good old moan a couple of...
There's a lot of talk about spectrums these days. Sexuality, politics, autism - nearly everything, it seems, is subject to a scale or gradation. I have discovered recently, for example, that I am annoyingly close to the unpleasant end of the spectrum determining the severity of damage to one's brain as a result of...
It's been an odd couple of days for those of us obsessed with the state of affairs at Liverpool Football Club. For one cohort, the aftermath of Manchester United's Europa League victory was the perfect opportunity for the kind of moaning and masochistic self-flagellation that seems to be de rigeur amongst them. They truly seem...
Jürgen Klopp Looking To Get Business Done Early screamed one newspaper headline. Klopp Strikes Pessimistic Note On Early Signings, squawked another. Welcome, officially, to Silly Season at it's most histrionic, idiotic and clueless. Between now and the close of the summer transfer window, you will be exposed to such a barrage of contradictory, attention-seeking...
At Anfield yesterday, after a creditable objective had been achieved by Liverpool, as cute children in replica kits tottered wide-eyed after their fathers, and as an intoxicating relief had flooded the famous old stadium, Lucas Leiva said some words into a microphone, whilst clutching a small memorial in the shape of the number 21...
"A war of attrition, competition, competition, competition," he said. "This means a fight for everything week in, week out," he elaborated, but it turned out that Jürgen Klopp was not describing the ferocious rivalry between the members of the Liverpool squad to get cast in the latest Nivea television ad, a B-Movie fever dream which...
As I sit down to write this, there are actual people of intelligence preparing to watch David Moyes' Sunderland take on Arsenal in the hope that the Mackems will eke out some kind of result. This is the kind of entirely avoidable madness that leads to dark bouts of depression. To compound the lunacy,...
Let's get something absolutely clear from the off, friends - whether Liverpool beat Middlesborough and secure a Champions League play-off or not, there has been obvious, demonstrable progress under Jürgen Klopp this season. This really shouldn't need saying, but the fickle and pugnacious nature of many of our fans makes it important to nail your colours...
Yesterday, I shared my own foolishness with you all in an altruistic attempt to spare the lovely readers and listeners of this column the needless torment I had inflicted on myself by engaging earnestly with the relentless tales of players in and players out at Anfield. It was a lamentable episode in your columnist's...
It's really far more than anyone should be expected to bear, you know. There is no way to manoeuvre the minefield that is transfer speculation and retain one's mental equilibrium. I like to think I'm a comparatively calm man, having had my stoicism tested by the slings and arrows over the years, but there's...
