Will Coutinho And Liverpool Bounce Back?

Will Coutinho And Liverpool Bounce Back?

For some reason, most of Latest News' downtime of late has been spent immersed in dystopian fiction. Not the frothy likes of The Hunger Games, mind you. No, the precious spare moments that come our way have been spent listening to well-spoken gents narrating George Orwell's 1984 and Aldous Huxley's Brave New World. Given the state of the world at present, this choice of reading matter seems deliberately grim but sometimes, when times are tough, you just have to double-down and …
Is Klopp Responsible For The LFC Decline?

Is Klopp Responsible For The LFC Decline?

"Oh my god...I'm back. I'm home. All the time it was...We finally really did it. You MANIACS! You blew it up! God damn you! GOD DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!" Taylor, Planet of the Apes, 1968
For a bookish and angsty pre-teen in the rural Ireland of the 1980s, the spirit-shocking profundity of the final scene of 1968's Planet of the Apes cannot be understated. Before Reagan and Andropov's tense relationship was replaced by the more hopeful détente between the …
Is Carragher Correct About Sturridge?

Is Carragher Correct About Sturridge?

The proliferation of former Liverpool players in the punditry business is downright odd. As analysts go, they range from the thoroughly dour and old-school likes of Dean Saunders and Ronnie Whelan to the occasionally insightful and earnest likes of Graeme Souness, to the hopelessly anodyne likes of Cockney clothes-horse, Jamie Redknapp. This is to say nothing of BT's Michael Owen, a man so vanilla that he can make flying helicopters over Dubai seem as bland as an Alan Partridge outside …
Gerrard Absolutely Delighted With Klopp

Gerrard Absolutely Delighted With Klopp

In a genuinely chilling development, it appears as though the world of Trumpian politics is beginning to bleed into the football sphere. Following his team's aggregate victory in the EFL Cup semi-final last night, an increasingly creepy looking Jose Mourinho refused to acknowledge the reality that Manchester United had just lost the second leg 2-1. Sporting a buzz-cut that only added to his unnerving appearance, the sullen Portuguese eye-gouger presented an "alternative fact" to the assembled hacks. The score, you see, …
Can Ojo Break Into The Liverpool First Team?

Can Ojo Break Into The Liverpool First Team?

There are two ways to go from here, as we see it at Latest News. We can either treat each fresh hell the season brings as a cause for bleak despondency or greet further setbacks with dismissive snorts and just, well, get on with it. There is no correct way of engaging with disappointment and the option of perpetual carping is as valid as any other but in an attempt at stoical acceptance, this column is going to focus on …
Where To Now For Klopp And Liverpool?

Where To Now For Klopp And Liverpool?

Normally, Latest News is your one-stop-shop for positivity and hopeful analysis of the efforts of Liverpool Football Club. This morning, however, in the immediate wake of what was a fairly limp and apathetic capitulation to an average Southampton side, there is little of a constructive nature to be said. It was a horror show of possession-based impotence. Exactly what the hell has become of this Liverpool team? Is there a quiet detachment in the manager's sideline demeanour in recent weeks? Does …
Can Origi And Liverpool Reach Wembley?

Can Origi And Liverpool Reach Wembley?

Trophies and Liverpool FC used to be like television's Ant and Dec - you never saw one without the other. In recent years, however, in order for this somewhat strained analogy to work, the two Geordie chuckle goblins would have to be tragically separated in the jungle because the Anfield club is no longer synonymous with silverware. As a wee Irish tyke, Latest News was spoiled by a succession of outrageously greedy Reds sides who gathered cups in May as though they …
Can Coutinho Contract Revitalize Liverpool?

Can Coutinho Contract Revitalize Liverpool?

In a world where Latest News woke blearily to jauntily separatist tweets from the actual President of the United States about a regrettable building project, it is fair to say that any upbeat revelations would be most eagerly embraced. How serendipitous then, that the next story we encountered was the official announcement of Phillipe Coutinho having signed a new long-term contract with Liverpool. It was like a little magical unicorn vaulting effortlessly over Trump's wall. Now I know what you're …
Can Klopp & Liverpool Turn The Season Around?

Can Klopp & Liverpool Turn The Season Around?

Nobody likes a crisis meeting. The clue, you see, is in the name. The trepidation and angst before, the recriminations during and the fallout after such gatherings, all combine to make the experience pretty unpleasant. However, quite often that very unpleasantness is absolutely necessary. The nettle must be grasped, the bull grabbed by the horns, the hackneyed metaphor lazily invoked. One imagines the nettle-grasping that followed Liverpool's loss to Swansea left a lot of the team with reddened palms. The result …
Henderson: Clyne Leads By Example

Henderson: Clyne Leads By Example

If you're reading this then you've gotten past the irritation with the immediate past long enough to contemplate the future, and for that, I thank you. The life of the daily columnist is a lonely one and the comfort of your virtual presence warms the cold dying heart of Latest News just enough to brave the internet awfulness and trawl around for stories to tickle your fancy. In the process of doing just that, your scribbler had the misfortune of straying …
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