Mané Happy Returns - Sadio Finally Playing For Klopp

Mané Happy Returns - Sadio Finally Playing For Klopp

Did you know that Phil Coutinho has a new tattoo of Mickey Mouse on his abs? Or were you aware that Le Bron James, nominal celebrity Red, is very disgruntled at going bald and has almost EIGHT times my country's population following him on Twitter? How about the fact that Ben Woodburn has been called up to the Wales senior squad at 17 years of age?  Maybe you've seen, amidst the talk of a celebratory crest to mark the club's 125th birthday, …
More Birthday Blues For The Reds?

More Birthday Blues For The Reds?

Birthdays can be a real source of emotional volatility as one gets older. On the face of it, it's a great blessing to have lasted another year in a world moving at such a distressing pace, in a direction which no longer seems certain, but on the other hand, one is afflicted with terrible and crushing angst about just where one fits in, nowadays. Why is everyone dabbing, for example? What even IS dabbing? Is anyone else cold? Having reached …
Money Talks For Liverpool FC

Money Talks For Liverpool FC

One evening when my classmates and I were out on the school playing field having a Rounders tournament, our collective attention was grabbed by the sound of approaching helicopter rotors. Now, I should probably mention that the school was a small rural one and the pupils were 80s Irish country kids, so as the whirlybird proceeded to land in the field right next to us, it would be fair to say it caused quite the furore. As it turned out, …
Inconsistency Of Emre Can Mirrors Inconsistency Of Liverpool

Inconsistency Of Emre Can Mirrors Inconsistency Of Liverpool

Irritation was the name of the game yesterday at Latest News Towers. Irritation with life's vicissitudes (which is not the fodder for these paragraphs), irritation with the media, irritation with the Redmen and, finally, seeing that irritation gloriously manifested in the exasperated form of Jamie Carragher (himself a regular source of irritation to this columnist, of late) as he reacted with remarkable impatience to the interruption of his analysis by the permanently gibbering Sky-candy that is Jamie Redknapp. Amidst the post-match …
Wijnaldum Bites Back But Reds Need To Be Quiet

Wijnaldum Bites Back But Reds Need To Be Quiet

Sometimes things just pan out, don't they? This morning, as Latest News queued for coffee, the friendly gent who runs the shop offered complimentary ciabatta to your correspondent. A glorious breakfast ensued. Later, whilst scanning the news on Planet Liverpool and quite literally ruminating, there came another moment of serendipity. Following this column's recent lamentations about Redmen saying things that are probably best left unsaid until the season's over and a genuine goal has been achieved, BEHOLD - a Redman …
Dancing Lessons for Mané

Dancing Lessons for Mané

Today's is going to be one of those Latest News columns that relies heavily on the words of others, not out of authorial laziness, you understand, but because they are there to be quoted and they are saying interesting things. Well, I say 'interesting,' but I'm not so much talking about the content. What's interesting to this scribbler is the fact that they are STILL saying the things that they are saying. Now, it's been pointed out to me already …
Kirkby Development Will Be Good For Liverpool

Kirkby Development Will Be Good For Liverpool

In a move that is guaranteed to cause more groans and whines of petulant exasperation than gasps of excited wonder, Liverpool Football Club today revealed images detailing the projected appearance of the planned state-of-the-art training complex in Kirkby. The plans for the £50m campus, which will house the extant Academy along with the first team, will be viewed by local residents and businesses today, as the proposed redevelopment enters into the public consultation phase. The theory is that Jürgen Klopp's defending Champions …
Table-Gazing: Where Will Liverpool Finish?

Table-Gazing: Where Will Liverpool Finish?

Sometimes, the worst thing you can do is look at the league table. The very worst. In fact, because I care about you, lovely reader, don't look at the league table. This morning, unnaturally early, Latest News gave what was supposed to be a brief, fact-checking glance at the Barclay's Premier standing of the Redmen. There was a column to be written and it's only polite to be passably informed before wittering away at you. Fifteen angst-ridden minutes later, a …
Klopp Admits Frustration With Rollercoaster Reds

Klopp Admits Frustration With Rollercoaster Reds

Before Saturday's kick-off and throughout much of the match, Latest News found the rare leisure time to indulge fully in the online experience of the foreign Red. Essentially that boils down to scanning Twitter relentlessly and resisting the urge to berate the stunningly huge amount of gloom merchants who seem to positively thrive on the churlish and malign practice of belittling the manager, the players and also you, should you posit a less hateful theory. Needless to say, the absence …
Yes, Klopp Is To Blame. Now What?

Yes, Klopp Is To Blame. Now What?

"Consistency is to do what you have to do always. We’ve brought ourselves into a situation where everyone can doubt our attitude. That’s really our fault, our mistake and nobody else’s." Jürgen Klopp
If you're bothering to read anything associated with Liverpool FC this morning then you are either calm enough to put football into some kind of perspective or frenzied enough to actively search for something to rail against and deride. Either way, you are welcome here. There will …
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