- Anfield Index

Regular visitors to these paragraphs will know that profound analytical breakdowns of systems and tactics are anathema to this columnist. It's not that I don't appreciate the folk who do that sort of thing, you understand. They provide us all with a valuable service, bless 'em. How many times have you drunkenly thrown out a stat or tactical observation that had been painstakingly compiled by one such hard-working analyst - their slaving over a hot laptop serving only to earn …

When writhing through the thick fug of a migraine, it can be hard to tell with absolute certainty what is real and what one might be imagining. On Friday, complications arising from some scheduled prodding and poking under the bonnet of your columnist's noggin, resulted in 3 days of pain-induced confusion and reality-bending altered perception. It was basically unintentional MK Ultra. There was an incident involving an orange that appeared to be vibrating on a bedside locker and several episodes …

It's been such an emotionally confusing weekend, friends, has it not? Clearly, the dominant feeling has been the sheer exultation in victory over Everton, in what was, for this columnist, the most crucial derby in years. The nature of that win, the mental toughness the Redmen showed and the imposition of their superior quality on a fierce local rival, was even more pleasing than relief that came with the attainment of crucial points in a round of the Barclay's Premier …

International breaks are a bit of a curate's egg. Now, that is supposed to mean that there are both good and bad aspects to them and yet the origin of the expression yields a meaning far closer to this columnist's opinion of the all-too-frequent Premier League interruptions. Apparently, the turn of phrase comes from an 1895 Punch cartoon which depicted a meek and sycophantic curate, who, despite being given a stale egg at the bishop's dining table, obsequiously assured his …

Birthdays can be a real source of emotional volatility as one gets older. On the face of it, it's a great blessing to have lasted another year in a world moving at such a distressing pace, in a direction which no longer seems certain, but on the other hand, one is afflicted with terrible and crushing angst about just where one fits in, nowadays. Why is everyone dabbing, for example? What even IS dabbing? Is anyone else cold? Having reached …

Gerrard is the reason we’re conceding so many goals… No, Johnson is the reason we’re conceding so many goals… No, Agger is the issue… Nope, it’s definitely Jon Flanagan’s fault… It’s definitely Kolo Toure being useless isn’t it. That’s the reason… Just listen to yourselves for a moment. Liverpool won a seven goal thriller to win 4-3 with another vital three points in the bag and yet the fans reaction is one of frustration and confusion… Never mind the fact …