Will Salah Join The Improving Reds?

Will Salah Join The Improving Reds?

Watching the latest, entirely hapless, efforts of Theresa May to seem like a normal human person by attempting to participate in that most regrettable of group activities, a Mexican wave, your columnist was struck by how apt a metaphor it was for the ineptitude shown by Liverpool FC in their transfer strategy so far this summer. Like the embattled Tory leader, they took an ill-advised chance, went heedlessly out on a limb, and ended up entirely humiliated in front of …
Klopp And Lijnders Plotting Success

Klopp And Lijnders Plotting Success

There's a lot of talk about spectrums these days. Sexuality, politics, autism - nearly everything, it seems, is subject to a scale or gradation. I have discovered recently, for example, that I am annoyingly close to the unpleasant end of the spectrum determining the severity of damage to one's brain as a result of migraines. Ah, you say, THAT explains so much about the column over the year, and you'd be right. It seems only natural, then, to think of ourselves …
Just How Attractive Is Jürgen Klopp?

Just How Attractive Is Jürgen Klopp?

It's been an odd couple of days for those of us obsessed with the state of affairs at Liverpool Football Club. For one cohort, the aftermath of Manchester United's Europa League victory was the perfect opportunity for the kind of moaning and masochistic self-flagellation that seems to be de rigeur amongst them. They truly seem to hate themselves and the rest of the world, this lot. It was all over now, you see. The Mancs would beat us to all the …
How To Survive The Liverpool FC Transfer Season

How To Survive The Liverpool FC Transfer Season

Jürgen Klopp Looking To Get Business Done Early screamed one newspaper headline. Klopp Strikes Pessimistic Note On Early Signings, squawked another. Welcome, officially, to Silly Season at it's most histrionic, idiotic and clueless. Between now and the close of the summer transfer window, you will be exposed to such a barrage of contradictory, attention-seeking lunacy, that you would be wise to have a plan for the retention of your mental health - something into which you can completely invest yourself …
More Birthday Blues For The Reds?

More Birthday Blues For The Reds?

Birthdays can be a real source of emotional volatility as one gets older. On the face of it, it's a great blessing to have lasted another year in a world moving at such a distressing pace, in a direction which no longer seems certain, but on the other hand, one is afflicted with terrible and crushing angst about just where one fits in, nowadays. Why is everyone dabbing, for example? What even IS dabbing? Is anyone else cold? Having reached …
Daniel Sturridge - The Phantom Menace

Daniel Sturridge - The Phantom Menace

Liverpool 3-3 Arsenal: a pulsating match; end to end, with chances galore; a "great advert for the Premier League". All these English football cliches, and more, could've been, and were, used to reflect on Liverpool's latest home match, under the floodlights at Anfield on Wednesday evening. A crackling pre-game atmosphere was pitched up several notches when Roberto Firmino pounced on Cech's parry to slam the Reds into an early lead. Three goals followed in what was a thunderous first half, …
Write-Off Liverpool FC at Your Peril!

Write-Off Liverpool FC at Your Peril!

Football has returned, finally! Club football I mean, the good stuff, the stuff that matters. Yes, the Premier League kicked off its new season last Saturday and, by now, all 20 clubs involved have played their opening two matches. The biggest game of the season so far took place on Monday night, when last year's Champions, Manchester City, took on and defeated the runners up in 2013/14, Liverpool FC. When evaluating how the final league standings might appear come the …